Sisters Act

“You will never find the real truth among people that are insecure or have egos to protect. Truth over time becomes either guarded or twisted as their perspective changes; it changes with the seasons of their shame, love, hope or pride.” ― Shannon L. Alder

           As far back as I can remember, there was always this disconnect between my sister and I... That feeling of being the odd one out that permeated within my mental construct through all those years leading to this...

     I don't exactly know why it is that she seems to have this repulsion when it comes to even the most minute efforts of getting to know me. And I don't know when this shift in her demeanor towards me started...It's as if she already made the decision to cross out any sort of relationship with me and mark that idea down as something unnecessary to even bother with.

   The conundrum I have about these things have haunted me on and off for almost a decade already that the heavy hollowness in my chest, that comes whenever my thoughts drift this way, is normal for me.

  

WORD ASSOCIATION MUCH?

The word "abandoned" might be too harsh a description for sisters, and yet I find myself at a loss of any other term to describe how i feel about us. 

OR... 

The word "dismissed" may be more fitting.. 

        See, I have this idea in my head about why she acts the way she does towards me. I mean, I had to come up with one to keep from pulling out my eyebrows in frustration wondering!

       So, I think the reason is that I did something ( I have no idea what it is but I'm sure it was odd) that triggered her decision of not bothering with me as her sister.. 

I don't even think she counts me as.....

Which is the worst thing if it were true....

The sad thing is: 

      I was really looking forward to having the both of us be really close and all that jazz you see in 80's flicks...I've always wanted a big sister. The one who had my back not the other way around...